October 31, 2003

Do You Love Me?

Then, buy me this!

It's only $11,000,000.00.

No, that isn't a typo.

That's this year's Fantasy Bra from Victoria's Secret.

From the website: World-renowned jewelry designer Mouawad transformed 2,809 exquisitely-cut white diamonds, yellow-orange sapphires, rhodolites, and amethyests into a one-of-a-kind design that illuminates the Broadway experience in a glamourous and sexy way. At the center fo this triangle bra lies a flawless, 70-caret pear-shape Mouawad Excelsior Diamond, a show-stopping piece cut from the second-largest, rough diamond in the world. This dazzling bra has a total weight of 2,200 carats. The matching panty glitters with 3,236 diamonds and rich-colored stones for a total weight of 200 carats.
Posted by Ninjababe at 11:52 AM

October 28, 2003

I got one!

Remember how I was saying how I always have the urge to shake Procrit every time I hold it.

Well, we got an expired vial today.

Oh, did I shake the Hell out of it!

Woooooo! Oh, that felt good!

Posted by Ninjababe at 6:09 PM | Comments (2)

The Joys of Evil

The pharmacy manager called K on his way into work today, to see how I was.

She told him I called in sick because I had to go to the doctor because of double vision. I'm right next to her, in pain because I'm trying not to laugh (I have a distinctive laugh).

When he got into work, I'm wearing an eye patch.

Finally, I couldn't stop myself from laughing, so we gave the joke away.

Still waiting for him to take revenge.

Posted by Ninjababe at 6:01 PM

Bad Pharmacist! Bad! No Bickie!

One of the pharmacists kept trying to give me bad images today.

First, he came up to a group of people, including me, and said, "Imagine, me, in nothing but a thong."

Later on, he added, "With little hearts."

Lastly, he came up a few hours later and added, "And cowboy boots. Knee high."

It made my head twitch.

Which in turn, made my nose hurt.

But, I decided to go to my happy place, which I informed him may have thongs and cowboy boots, but he definitely wasn't there!

Now... off to plot my revenge! Bwahahahahahahahaha!

UPDATE:Now, he's adding in tassels on his cowboy boots and nipples.

My reply: "Oh... I'm sorry... Were you talking to me? I was thinking about Russell Crowe."

Also, I just learned that someone at work wants to be a cow. Why? They can walk and defecate at the same time!

Posted by Ninjababe at 5:55 PM

October 27, 2003

Boy, Did I Have an Interesting Day...

Or the last few hours at least.

We had a power surge at work.

The new robotic system went off-line.

That means we couldn't run prescriptions, dispense prescriptions, nothing. Dead in the water.

So, I volunteered to make the call to the tech line. The people are nice, and I always have a nice chat while waiting for them to do stuff on their end. That, and I actually know what they're talking about (I know what a network hub is. Most people would be like "The grey box or the blue box?).

Well, during the two hour call...

Yes, two hours...

There's a section of the pharmacy where two network hubs are. This is recessed under the counter, with a board on top and trash cans.

About twenty minutes into the call, I had a guy coworker (I called out for a 'big, strong guy'. You'd think by now that when I ask for that, they'd run. It's always something bad.) pull the counter up because the counter, which is about 2" thick ply board, is heavy. Really heavy.

While I had my head stuck under the counter, the ply board fell from his hands.

And, hit me on the bridge of my nose, right next to my left eye.

Luckily, it doesn't seem to be broken.

I had to have the tech guy wait on the phone while I worked through the pain.

After that, I had to wear my glasses on the end of my nose and tilt my head back to look through it.

So, I work a bit longer, fighting of people trying to force first aid on me. "No, I don't want a band aid. No, I don't need Neosporin. Back off!"

During this, I'm chatting with the tech (Oh, he's in Kansas City, MO) about how I hope it wasn't too bad, since I wanted to dress up for Halloween. Even though, it would probably add a bit of color to my costume.

Then, one of my coworkers goes, "April, you're bleeding."

"Damn it. I'm bleeding. Just a second."

By the time the call ended, the two techs I was working with wanted to hire me. They said I was the most knowledgeable person they've worked with in a pharmacy. (The pharmacy manager wanted a finders fee. The techs were telling me that at least there, I wouldn't have boards fall on my head.)

On the plus side, I have two hours of overtime. My glasses didn't break.

But, I have yet another workman's comp on my record (Second one this month... 4+ years without a work accident, and I get two in one month).

Half way through the call, on a half sheet of paper, I wrote in black marker "SCOTCH!"

I held it up and a smart ass at work replied "I'm not Scotch, I'm Irish."

So, huffing to myself, I added "ME -" Above the Scotch and "NOW!" below so it said "ME - SCOTCH! NOW!"

Everyone agreed that it was a good idea.

So, that's what I'm going to go get now.

Oh! The whole reason the robotic system went off line? The network hubs weren't connected into a UPS unit. They're very temperamental. So, when we had a power surge, they went haywire.

Posted by Ninjababe at 8:21 PM | Comments (2)

October 24, 2003

Well, this is new to me!

Kinky and fun, you know how to scream and you sure know how to have one hell of a party!! And one hell of a night . . .

Congratulations! You're a screaming orgasm!!

What Drink Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Posted by Ninjababe at 8:09 PM | Comments (5)

October 23, 2003


So, I'm wearing a choker today at work that I haven't worn before.

It's a leather strap, kinda like a mini-belt. One side is black, the other brown.

One of the pharmacists won't stop insisting it's a dog collar. So, every time he goes by, he makes woofing noises behind me.

I've pretended to kick him a few times. Next time, I won't pretend.

Posted by Ninjababe at 5:35 PM | Comments (3)

October 22, 2003


The twit of entry below decided to tell K and I the horrific story of her bad eyebrow plucking job that she paid top dollar for.

We didn't know if we should be horrified, sympathetic, disgusted at the gall of the plucker, or just wait for the point (Of course, there was no point).

We heard the story at least four times.

So, now, every time she tries talking to us, we either tell her we didn't hear a word she said because her eyebrows were distracting us, or we just stare at her eyebrows and look pensive and horrified (then slowly reach up and brush a finger over an eyebrow).

Posted by Ninjababe at 5:57 PM



Work is trying to take over my life!

I must remember my two mottos in life.

1) The world is full of twits, and I am their exterminator.

2) Killing only lasts a moment, maiming, a lifetime.

OK... the twit left.

There's an employee here that when she's bored, she comes and bugs K and I.

Kill! Kill! Kill!

Posted by Ninjababe at 5:51 PM

October 21, 2003

Wooo Eeeee!

So, I made the mistake of going into a English Import store today (Ith wanted me to get her some loose tea).

I forced myself to stop shopping after I spent $20.

I got a large bag of Smarties (English Smarties aren't what Americans think. Americans think of Smarties as those chalky discs. English Smarties are kinda like M&M's, but each color candy shell has a different taste), a hunk of cheddar cheese (Mmmmmm... damn fine eatin'!), some crackers, and a box of chocolate covered cherries with brandy.

The chocolate cherries have a suggested serving size of #4 per serving.

However, I can eat only two. Talk about lotsa brandy (I just love buying chocolate that has a 'must be the legal drinking age' warning on it).

I've never eaten less than the suggested serving size before...

Posted by Ninjababe at 9:21 PM | Comments (8)

October 20, 2003

Give It To Me, Baby!

Oooo! I want this!

And, not for pumpkins...

I need to add to my 'torture' collection.

I have a manicure set that my parents gave me that looks like a very well cared for torture implement set...

Posted by Ninjababe at 9:04 AM | Comments (1)

October 17, 2003

Just Because Jay Asked

Bwahahahahahahahahaha! Innocent! Bwahahahahahahahahaha!

You are Form 3, Unicorn: The Innocent.

"And The Unicorn knew she wasn't meant to go into the Dark Wood. Disregarding the advice given to her by the spirits, Unicorn went inside and bled silver blood.. For her misdeed, the world knew evil."

Some examples of the Unicorn Form are Eve (Christian) and Pandora (Greek).
The Unicorn is associated with the concept of innocence, the number 3, and the element of water.

Her sign is the twilight sun.

As a member of Form 3, you are a curious individual. You are drawn to new things and become fascinated with ideas you've never come in contact with before. Some people may say you are too nosey, but it's only because you like getting to the bottom of things and solving them. Unicorns are the best friends to have because they are inquisitive.

Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Posted by Ninjababe at 9:16 PM | Comments (2)

Awooga! Awooga!


Danger, Will Robinson, Danger!

I've had sugar.


Posted by Ninjababe at 4:04 PM | Comments (3)

October 16, 2003

Pranks 'R Us

One of the delivery drivers at work has a totally redone 1962 VW bug. This car is totally worked from the bottom up. New doors, new paintjob, new engine. You name it, it was redone.

Today, a lady left a business card with 'Love the car. I just bought a remodeled '65 VW. We must talk!'

I took a note card, and wrote: "Love the card! We must meet, stud! Call me!' with our fax number.

He's tickled about it.

Of course, one of the pharmacists almost gave me away by saying 'that's our fax number!'. Luckily, the driver wasn't in the room at the time.

But, that pharmacist is now dead to K and I.

Posted by Ninjababe at 5:35 PM

October 14, 2003

[zombie impression] Chocolate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm craving chocolate.

Not just chocolate, but Godiva Dark Chocolate ice cream.

Chocolate! Chocolate! Chocolate!

Of course, there's none in the house.


Posted by Ninjababe at 9:32 PM | Comments (2)

You Know...

You know it's going to be a bad day when less than ten minutes from waking up, you have the warning signs of a migraine.

Go me.

It's going to be a wonderful day!

[/sarcasm off]

Posted by Ninjababe at 7:23 AM | Comments (2)

October 13, 2003

Anime Cleavage!

So, one of my referrals from site meter is a MSN search for, get this, "Anime Cleavage Shots".

Ninjababe's Ramble is listed as #8.

Someone in France (Or who speaks French) did a search on the French Google for 'Ninjababe'. Yes, this is #1.

Actually, I've found that if you do a search for 'Ninjababe', most of what shows up goes to somewhere on this domain where my name is mentioned.

I am Ninjababe, hear me roar.

I've had the nickname 'Ninjababe' for nearly ten years now. I got it... hell... 1994? 1995? Somewhere around there.

That's a long time on the net.

Posted by Ninjababe at 11:15 PM | Comments (1)


I can't believe it!

I broke the 20 per day average!

Ah do declare, Ah feel faint!

[wavers around a bit]

OK... I'm better now.


Posted by Ninjababe at 11:06 PM | Comments (3)

Dracula tidbit

Excerpt from Dracula by Bram Stoker:

The women looked pretty, except when you got near them, but they were very clumsy about the waist.

Now, that's a different way of saying 'pudgy'!

Posted by Ninjababe at 9:40 PM

I Vant to Suck Vour Blood!

Bravo is doing Dracula movies.

It's gotten me in the mood to read the book again.

And, since I'm currently broke until next week, I decided to see if I can't find it on the net.


Found a version!

So, I grabbed the first ten chapters and put them into a word file. So, that means I can read it where ever I want.

At least until Friday, when I get paid. :-)

Posted by Ninjababe at 9:15 PM

Sometimes, I just want to say "DIE!!!"

Sometimes, I think I have this sign hanging above me saying "I'm too nice to tell you to 'shut up', so tell me all your problems! Ask me for directions!"

Every day, there are multiple people at work who insist on telling me every detail of their life. From their deadbeat boyfriends, to their upcoming weekend trip out of town (That one, I heard three times a day for a week!), to their gynecological problems (in graphic detail).


I'm so close to just smiling serenely and calmly wrapping my hands around their necks. Then, just SQUEEZE!!!

And, lets not forget the asking directions aspect of this. I have all sorts of tourists stop me on the street and ask directions. Had someone stop me today when I was in Starbucks asking me how to get back to the highway. Every time, I'm so tempted to send them the wrong way. But, I just can't. [sigh]

I don't want to be a willing ear anymore.

I think the next one who asks, I'll just glare meanly and growl.

Or, I could do what the accountant does. "I'm sorry. I'm busy, are you? Because, if you're not, I can definitely find you something to do."

Posted by Ninjababe at 2:06 PM | Comments (6)

October 8, 2003


I want this!

And, it's only $10,000 a bottle!

UPDATE: I know around how much a shot of this whiskey will cost you if it was ever available in a bar. I used Casadorres as a basis. I know that a shot of Casadorres tequila is about $7 in a bar. I know that you can buy a bottle of Casadorres for $30.

So, if the Chivas is $10,000 a bottle, it would cost $2,333 a shot in a bar.

Math at its best! [beam]

Posted by Ninjababe at 9:00 PM | Comments (4)

Shake It, Baby!

There's a medication we carry. It's called Procrit.

Procrit is an injectable. It's prescribed for anemia, among other things. This drug is expensive, one dose is anywhere from $100-500 or more, and it's anywhere from 3 doses a week to one a day...

It's a drug that has to be refrigerated and can't be shaken. It has to remain as still as possible. If it's shaken the patient bruises badly. And, that's bad when you're anemic.

Every time I hold some in my hand, I have this urge to shake it as hard as I can.

The pharmacist always tells me I'm not allowed though [pout].

But, sooner or later, we'll come across some expired Procrit, and I'm going to shake, shake, shake!

Posted by Ninjababe at 4:45 PM | Comments (1)

October 7, 2003

<-- Look!

New Cleavage Cam picture!

So, I now have three of these pictures... I think after one or two more, I'm going to put in a code that will make the pictures randomly pop up every time the page reloads, like my 'quote of the moment' does...

Nothing else really to talk about... Life is boring... Work is boring...

But, in December, life will be interesting!

Not only is it my birthday month, there's also Christmas, Pirates of the Caribbean comes out on DVD, and Return of the King comes out in theaters! Yay!

Not only that, but I'm going to a Lord of the Rings marathon! On December 16th, select theaters are showing the extended version of Fellowship of the Ring, with the extended version of Two Towers directly after. Then, it's timed so that exactly at midnight, Return of the King is shown.

The whole story, in around 12 hours. Woooooooooooo! I can't wait!

Well, here are some pictures for you... I got them from the 2 CD-ROM set a friend gave me from Two Towers. There are many many many many more pictures than these, but I decided to grab a few... Plus the ones on the Fellowship of the Ring CD ROM... Can't wait to get the Return of the King one! :-)

Elf Boy!

My Favorite Female

Stud Puppy AKA King Guy

King Guy Again

Posted by Ninjababe at 7:58 PM | Comments (5)

October 3, 2003

Newest Work Quotes

(FYI: Marinol is a drug based on Marijuana used to increase appetite in chemo and AIDs patients, among others)

"Mostly, I remember a bunch of people running around the stage in fur."
"Hmmmm... Are you sure that wasn't a porn?"

I'm strangely turned on. There's something about a man in steel bustiers.

Oooo! Two thousand dolllars and you get lunch with Arnold Schwartzenager.
Would it be gauche to ask for his autograph?

I can't tell you how much I want to meet that doctor so I can kick his ass.

What do you have in the groin? Well, men have...

My purse is ringing. That's good, because I was thinking I need a tampon.
Maybe it's my tampons calling.

"Everyone keep talking and ignore her."
[cracks knuckles on both hands]
"Shutting up now."

I can't wait to jab that needle in my leg.

We'll get the fab 5 from 'queer eye for the straight guy' to come in and
shave his whole body since you don't like hair.

My boob is not working.

I can actually work my evil beam through your head.

Feel... My... Belly!

Marinol for everyone!

I have to rub that greasy stuff on my twat!

What's a twat?

I don't want to change my sex!

"Do you have a hard prescription?"
"I have stuff that's hard, but that isn't one of them."

Posted by Ninjababe at 9:43 PM | Comments (3)

October 2, 2003


Today, at 10am, we had to turn in an outline that ended up being15 pages, typed, to an outside consultant at work.

Guess who got to type it? Yes, me.

So, I was given the pages at 4pm last night.

I spent two hours on it, I got 10 pages done.

I had an hour this morning to get the other 5 pages done. No big deal, right? Wrong! The word document was corrupted.

I typed in 15 pages of text in an hour and five minutes.

I did have the joy of basically saying "Go away. Bother someone else" while typing frantically when people came up to me and tried to get me to solve their problems.

So, my carpal tunnel acted up on my right hand. Big Time.

And, it seems I also have tendonitis. Wooooo... So, my right forearm has about an inch of skin showing between my wrist and elbow brace.

Go me

I got the outline done in time!

Did I get thanked?


Even though, I'm blackmailing the pharmacist in charge of the project for three days of Starbucks.

So, I'm now off to veg with some Scapa...

Posted by Ninjababe at 7:51 PM

October 1, 2003


Some background: Ith and I like to take long road trips. I drive about 99% of the time (Ninja like to go vroooooom!). Imagine this... You have a woman who is weird and strange to begin with, put her in a small metal box that is hurtling down a deserted interstate at around 70 mph. It's dark out side. There's no one around. What does she do? She makes up stories about Antonio Bandaras, his Durango, Castroville, bathrobes, and oil rigs. (All said in a very bad, thick Spanish accent.)

A few trips ago, a mob, Arwen on a horse, and outlaws got into the mix.

Now, on the last trip, turkeys and Johnny Depp got involved.

All of Antonio's lines are done in the bad, thick Spanish accent mentioned above. Johnny's lines are in a thick, bad Southern accent (For some bizarre reason). Here is that story:

Antonio Bandaras, wearing only a pair of boxers and a bathrobe, manically drove his Durango to the designated meeting point. He and Johnny Depp were off to pick up chicks and party until the cows came home. To disguise themselves, they were each going to wear a pair of thick framed glasses with a fake nose and mustache attached.

Antonio picked up Johnny, who was also wearing boxers, a bathrobe, and the aforementioned fake glasses.

"Why is there a pair a turkeys in the back seat?" Johnny asked as he shut the passenger door of the Durango behind him and readjusted his boxers.

"I promised to deliver them to Washington, DC for the presidential pardon," Antonio replied.

"We're in Southern California."

"Si. Do not worry, it will be quick. Then, we go an pick up chicks."

Suddenly, the two were in the middle of the Nevada desert, driving along at obviously subsonic speeds as it takes quite a few hours to get from the greater LA area to Nevada.

Johnny kept glancing at the turkeys behind them. "That turkey is lookin' at me funny," he stated as he readjusted his fake mustache.

"Perhaps, they are hungry? Why don't you feed them?" Antonio suggested as he stopped the car on the side of the interstate, the Durango tires smoking.

"Why me?"

"You are from the south, are you not? You know how to feed turkeys."

Johnny got quite upset at Antonio over that remark. "That is racial profiling!"

The two men got out of the Durango and a yelling match between the two commenced. Soon, one of the turkeys also got out of the car and sat at Johnny's feet. It was obviously enamored with the actor.

Suddenly, Antonio looked wide eyed behind Johnny and pointed. "Look!"

Johnny whirled around. "What?"

Jumping into the Durango, slamming the driver's door shut, Antonio continued through the unbeforementioned open car window. "A tattoo artist! Should you not commemorate this event with new body art?"

Johnny was too busy peering into the dark night to notice Antonio Bandaras drive the Durango off.

Now, Antonio Bandaras is driving the lone turkey to Washington, DC for a Presidential pardon. And, what of Johnny Depp?

He still searches the desert for the tattoo artist, which always seems to be a step ahead of him. And the infatuated turkey follows faithfully behind.

One day, hopefully this weekend, I'll tape myself saying some of the words and link them as .wav files. The story is so much... well, more, heard than typed.

Posted by Ninjababe at 9:57 PM | Comments (7)