Ninjababe's Ramble

George Clooney is an Asshat: The interview [falls out of chair laughing]

A friend of a friend posted an 'interview' with George Clooney on her blog.

I haven't laughed so much in quite awhile.

excerpt:

Geroge: Hey! Don't you get uppity with me, Rachel. I'm a rich famous actor and I will make sure you never eat lunch in this town again!

Rachel: Uh, bud, I live in Texas. Kiss my ass.

George: Texas? Oh, that explains it. You're one of those redneck, hillbilly, white trash, blood-hungry, pro-war, flyover-country hicks Susan Sarandon keeps telling me about.

Rachel: Yep, that's me. Anyway, so what is it that you hate so much about the National Rifle Association?

George: Well, um, heh. Oh, you know. It's the [in mock Southern accent] en-ar-ay!

Rachel: [sighs]

George: I'm an arrogant prick.

Rachel: Yes.

And, I can say 'You're one of those redneck, hillbilly, white trash, blood-hungry, pro-war, flyover-country hicks Susan Sarandon keeps telling me about. ' all in one breath. (I'm quite proud of that!)

New Toy!

I have a new toy! [g]

Thanks to Scriptygoddess, via Too Much To Dream, I now have drop down comments. So, if you don't want the comments to pop up in a new window, you just click on the 'show comments »' link at the end of the post, and they'll drop down. To hide them, click on the '« hide comments' that shows at the top of the comments list to hide.

Cool, eh?

(And, yes, I'm recycling posts from my other blogs...)

Ah, this is the life!

So, we had another pharmaceutical whore (AKA drug company representative) come in today. He brought us lunch.

And, he's one of the ones K and I don't like... He always, always ignores K and I in favor for the pharmacy manager because he's in charge of purchasing.

And, today, the manager isn't in. So, now he wants to talk to us. Of course, he only wants K or I to run dummy prescriptions for the medications his company makes through insurances to see what they pay.

Umm... no.

I don't think so.

Rat Bastard

Woah...

This is a Bratz doll. They're the new Barbie. They have no feet. They have little nubs that you push the shoes onto (We've dubbed them 'amputee Barbie' at work. "Someone's been playing in the mine field again!").

The above link is for a boy Bratz doll. Here's a girl.

I actually want some. I think they'd make an interesting addition to my action figure collection (Especially the next time I do an orgy scene ). They'd be like giants, looming over the gundams, Final Fantasy figures, and Magneto...

Oh, and Barbie clothes don't fit on them...

Strange Searches...

I have site meter. It is very cool.

You can use it to see how people get to your site, including the websearches they use...

This one is just bizarre! 'picture of needle used in death penalty'

Hello Kitty latchhook seems popular as well.

(If you want to see the searches for yourself, just click on the white 'site meter' box at the bottom of my sidebar...)

Yet more quotes from work!

Next week, I think I'll shit on the floor so you have to clean it up.

"You went to a Raiders game!?"
"Yeah... it was like watching a nature show."

You won't kiss me, but you'll go to the bathroom at the stadium?!

"We'll be delivering till midnight."
"I know. We're like Santa with medicine."

I've got a hairball!

We used to have a sign that said 'hit head here'. But, we lost it, so she's pretty much free range now.

I'm all ears. Well, part of me is crotch.

That sounded like two cats in heat being rubbed together until they burst into flames.

I can't tell you how much fun I'm having. Probably because... I'm not.

Where person at? [sigh] I meant, where is the person located?

We need to put shock collars on our employees.

I'll go down for them if you wiggle the cords. And, you can make anything you want out of that.

Damn those falling ninjas!

"I thought I'd lost it!"
"Oh... I thought you meant your bra."

"You have to love someone named after food. I'd marry him if he asked."
"Charles Hernandez?"
"No! Meatloaf! ...Well, is Charles Hernandez cute?"

Damn Accents...

I'm watching Con Air on USA. And, I can't really get into it because Nocholas Cage's southern accent is just too thick!

[cackle!]

How much do you make an hour in Galleons?

Found a cool Harry Potter money converter. Has been up for a while, but I just found it...

A bottle of coke costs 3 sickles and 14 knuts

A White Chocolate Mocha from Starbucks is 10 sickles and 17 knuts

My Final Fantasy X strategy guide would cost 3 galleons, 2 sickles, and 25 knuts, plus tax

Bwahahahahahaha!

Christian Moviegoers Beware!

I advise you not to be drinking anything when you go look at that...

excerpt:

Pastor Deacon Fred went on to note that although the violence in The Two Towers film is some of the best he's ever seen outside of the Holy Bible, that the hidden sexual agenda in the movie makes it unwatchable to anyone other than a qualified minister of God.

I'm still laughing.

Thanks to Kel over on Gaggle!

Random events...

Today, K brought in two of her girls for awhile after they got out of school.

So, the youngest and I spent a fun time with those cars you pull back and let go. We raced them behind all the technicians and pharmacists that were working in the front. Then, we almost got run over by the manager as he came around the corner.

Ith has a daily Lord of the Rings calender. She's been giving me the pretty pictures after the tears them off. Oh, I really need access to a scanner! There's a bunch of nice pictures. And, I have this habit of adding funny captions to pictures (Reminds me, I need to fix all the links on my captions section). Today, it was the ring wraiths galloping by. The caption? "The remake of Bonanza!" Of course, it works much better in person, as I bounce the picture up and down as if they were riding horses, and hum the Bonanza theme. (I will have a scanner... As soon as I clean the area it will go in... But it won't be for a while... I'm so lazy!)

In fact, I'm feeling inspired! So... a few 'captions'! (Pictures from metromix.com)

"And, the next item up for bid is a small, gold ring. We'll start the first bid at 100 gold pieces. Do I hear 100?"

[Bonanza theme song swells in background]

"Now, the book says that to hypnotise myself, I just gently wave this ring back and forth..."

"You left me, you bastard! Now, DIE!"

"That rat bastard. He's lucky that I don't go over there and bitch slap him!"

And, we're walking, and walking, and walking...

Damn, that was fun! :-)

Backsliding

I have a rule. It's a good rule. I do not read Mercedes Lackey unless it is the weekend and I don't have to go anywhere the next day.

I have this rule because she's an author that, 90% of the time, once I start the novel, I will not stop. I will loose all track of time. Once, I was going to read just a chapter. I went to bed at 3 am, and I had to be up for work at 6!

I've tried using alarm clocks. I'll turn the alarm clock off and say 'just a few more lines.'

Today, I forgot my rule.

I started reading a Mercedes Lackey novel at lunch.

I was ten minutes late getting back.

So, I will have to reinstate my rule.

I am a Techie Goddess...

Yesterday, the printer that K and I use went down with a paper jam.

Not just an ordinary paper jam, but the paper actually got caught in a section that cannot be reached by human hands. The paper had actually crumpled up in that area.

So, I, being the techie goddess type person I am, sat in front of the printer, peering into the little slot. I risked life and limb (The section can get up to 180 degrees Fahrenheit) to remove all the paper from the printer.

Armed with a pair of tweezers and scissors, I worked diligently for over 15 minutes to get every scrap of paper from the jaws of death.

I triumphed. The paper was finally liberated from the evil printer.

Then, it happened again.

I went to Plan B. After calling the printer maintenance company, I turned the printer off and am now using a different printer. We're still waiting for the repair man to come in.

Today, I Mourn...

Today is a tragic day for me.

Today, my pen died.

I held the poor thing in my hands as it coughed up its life's ink. My fingers are still stained with the blue vicious fluid that gave my pen life.

I loved this pen. It was an Opti-Flo pen from Staples with blue ink. The poor thing cracked this morning and bled out.

I will miss this pen.

How Ironic

A patient called asking if her prescription was ready. She called in a refill a few days ago (The whole 'I called in my refill a few days ago, and it still isn't ready!' seems to always be vicodin!) and it wasn't ready still!

Well, if she had called a few minutes before, we could've asked her doctor as he was standing right in front of me.

Isn't it ironic?

Today is a Momentous Occasion

Today, after a month's work, I finally finished the training manual for the pharmacy program at work.

Yes, I typed in forty pages, inserted pictures of screen captures, and gave step by step instructions on how to do everything related to prescription filling using the pharmacy's current computer program.

And, after I printed it out, made the pages two sided, did the table of contents and cover page, I inserted it into a report cover.

Then, as I was basking in the limelight, I noticed... The page numbers were on the wrong side. ARGH! But, that's not enough for me to reprint and paginate a new manual.

Less than an hour later, I find out that I missed a section. [bangs head against table]

But still, today is a momentous occasion. I wrote a training manual!

Da da dum!

Two Towers: [snort]

Oh, this is way too funny!

Two Minute Two Towers

An Excerpt:

GANDALF: Isn't it odd how we fell for about three miles, and yet we ended up on TOP of a mountain?

BALROG: Who cares. It's freaking cold up here. I give up.

GANDALF: Cool. I think I'll go buy myself something white. White is supposed to be the new black this year...

[snorfle]

I had tears in my eyes, it was so funny.

Bad lyric! Bad!

OK... I just remembered something that's been bugging me off and on for a while. Britney Spears's Song Baby, One More Time. Part of the chorus is "Hit me baby one more time."

So, is she advocating physical abuse?

(And, yes... I listen to Britney Spears. Her song just came on my winamp player, and oooo! Next it the Backstreet Boys, then Christina Aguilera! Then, it switches to Nine Inch Nails...)

A Few Star Wars Links...

Jedi Colorforms! I used to love those as a kid! (Graphic intensive, may take a bit to load. Very addictive)

Dark Side Switch Campaign [snorfle]. A flash movie. Just... watch... if your a Star Wars fan, [snicker]

At work, we're trying to find a way to put that a patient is trouble without putting 'A real pain in the @$$!' or something like that because customers can see the computer screen at some locations.

So, we've decided to put 'PIB' for Pain in Butt...

But, what do you tell the patient if they ask what PIB means?

Some that Ith and I came up with:

Pills in Bottle

Patient Is Broken

Porcupine Independence Board.

Of course, the patient would then reply "But, I'm not on the Porcupine Independence Board!"

"You have something against Porcupine Independence?"

Bwahahahahahaha!

This is a cool idea...

Basically, it tracks US currency across the United States and Canada by serial number. I found a bill today with the url stamped on it. I wasn't going to look until I got home, because it could've been porn, and it's never a good idea to go to a porn site at work.

But, K said she had heard of the site just that morning. So, we went and looked.

The $5 bill started out in Washington two years ago.

Now, I need to find a dollar bill and start my own!

(Man, I'm going to get so many hits to my blog just for the stray words... :-) porn... vagina... [snort])

OWWW!

A woman came in looking for dressing for a wound. It turns out that she was in a mountain bike accident and now has stitches between her vagina and rectum.

OW OW OW OW OW!

[cackle]

They're looking for a patient with a last name of 'Head' in the computer. The pharmacist said, "I don't have a 'Head'."

K, without missing a beat, replied, "I don't know about you, but I wouldn't be broadcasting something personal like that."

Reminds me... I need to find a wav of a drum roll/snare drum to put onto the recorder keychain I have so we can do it after K or I do a funny...

I hate spelling. Bah

I have problem with spelling certain words. Until a few years ago, one of them was 'volunteer', another 'ecstasy'.

Now, my current problem is receive. I want to spell it recieve. I know, I know.... The rule is 'I before e, except after c'. But, for some reason, I just must spell it e before i.

[sigh]

Usually, I make the mistake in Micrososft Word, which means that it's automatically fixed. But, I also make the mistake in the pharmacy program for work when writing notes.

Mmmmm... Rabid Raccoons!

Bwahahahahaha!

The Dictatorship of the Scarlet Shinobi had the following issue today:

The Issue

In a bid to provide a new revenue stream for The Scarlet Shinobi's Beef-Based Agriculture industry, it has been suggested that rabid racoons could be added to the menu.

The Debate

1. "The fact is, the rabid racoon population is out of control," says Beef-Based Agriculture spokesperson Prudence Spirit. "We have to do something about them anyway, so why not market them as tasty snacks? We could have rabid racoon kebabs, rabid racoon pies, rabid racoon-on-a-sticks--the possibilities are endless! Let's not pass up this golden opportunity to provide a feast, if you will, for our economy."

2. "I agree that something needs to be done about rabid racoon over-population," says random passer-by Buy Hamilton, "but eating them? That's kind of gross. Let's just shoot the ones we have to and shovel their bodies into ditches like normal."

3. "I am shocked and appalled!" declared SPCA President Chastity Licorish. "If anyone needs to be culled, it's us humans. The rabid racoons were here first, remember? We need to take this as a sign to get our industry--agriculture in particular--to back off. The rabid racoon is part of what makes The Scarlet Shinobi a great nation!"

(The government of the Scarlet Shinobi chose the bold option)

Mmmmmmm... rabid racoon-on-a-stick!

Happy Birthday, Ramble!

Wooo! Ninjababe's Ramble is a year old today!

Yay!

Party at my place!

Wait... you're already there...

Oops

:)

Looking back, I see that I really like Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring... I have way too much fun at work, and I can spend pages talking about absolutely nothing.

Cool

[wanders off singing 'Happy Birthday']

How far will you go?

For Christmas, my parents sent me this really cool travel case. It's the size of a pager. You open it up and inside is a mirror, a contact lens storage case, and a small bottle to hold storage solution.

Well, how was I to fill the bottle with solution without contaminating it with germs?

Oh dear.

So, I bring the container to work, thinking I'd just wash up really well at lunch and fill the bottle.

Then, K reminded me we have a compounding lab on property. With a sterile hood. And, access to syringes, alcohol wipes, and saline solution suitable for injection (which is also suitable for eyes).

So, I tromp upstairs to the compounding lab, pull out the items I need, and sit down.

I put a 16 gauge needle onto a 10 cc syringe. And, just so you know, I never want a 16 gauge needle put into my body. That thing was at least a fourth of an inch thick. OW! Then, after popping the tip of the bottle off with an alcohol wipe, I filled the syringe with the saline solution and injected it into the travel bottle.

All of this was done under the sterile hood, which the compounding technician had thoughtfully set up for me beforehand. (You have to let the hood run for twenty minutes and wipe the inside down with alcohol before it is usable.)

After resheathing the needle, I used the alcohol wipe to put the tip back onto the travel bottle and let it set in the hood for a few minutes to allow the alcohol to evaporate.

The last step was properly disposing of all of the trash. The normal trash went into the trashcan, the needle and syringe went into the sharps container, and the empty bottle of saline (turns out that the travel bottle held 10cc, which is the amount of the bottle of saline) went into the biohazard disposal container.

Do you think I went overboard? :-)

I'm going to the Oscars!

Well... an Oscar party anyway... I am the proud owner of a ticket to the LotR Oscar party. Wooooo!

I even have a formal gown to go in! (Well... two actually... need to decide between white and sapphire blue... The blue is currently winning)

Lysol

ARGH! Everyone I know oversprays lysol.

The directions are to spray for 2-3 seconds. Everyone at work seems to spray for four times as long. Makes me gag. Blarg.

And, because of that, I sometimes can't use our bathroom. It's basically the space under the stairs, and has no ventilation (hence, the lysol). People spray for way too long in there. [sigh]

Democracy? Bah!

A current dilemma in the country I own:

The Issue
In response to a slow news week, certain highbrow newspapers have stirred up the debate over voluntary vs compulsory voting.

The Debate
1. "Compulsory voting makes about as much as sense as having the death penalty for attempted suicide," says civil rights activist Miranda Winters. "You can't force people to be free! You can only give them the choice. Besides, if all those derelicts who can't be bothered to get off their ass once every few years voted, who would they elect? I shudder to think."

2. "It's not contradictory at all," argues political commentator Peggy Trax. "The fact is, if not everyone votes, the outcome isn't truly representative. Some groups--like elderly gun nuts--vote more often than others. That's why always we always end up with such terrible politicians."

3. "This raises an interesting issue," says Randy Summers, your brother. "And that is: why do we need elections, anyway? Seems to me it would be much simpler if you just decided what was right, and did it. Wouldn't that save everyone a lot of time?"

Oh, decisions, decisions!

I'll have to think on this... It could change the whole government of my country...

Update: I decided to go with voluntary voting.

And, I've decided to create a second country. Now, I can have a 'serious' country, where I can do the 'right' thing (Dominion of Ninjababe) and a 'frivolous' country (The Dictatorship of the Scarlet Shinobi) where I can be a total despot!

My Weird Cat...

So, not does my cat like popcorn and koolaid (yes, koolaid), I just discovered something else she likes.

Chex mix!

I'm finishing off the last of the homemade chex mix (I make some mean chex mix!) and went to get some coffee.

So, I leave the bowl on my bed.

I come back, she's chowing down on it.

Chex mix!

Strange animal...

The Domain of Ninjababe...

Have been meaning to go do this since I saw the link in Ego, Ego, Ego! last weekend. Today, I created the Domain of Ninjababe!

[cackle of mad laughter]

My current game obsession

I'm playing Final Fantasy X (Got it for my birthday). So far, I've played it for 70 hours. Wooo.

This morning, I died. [pout]. Damn [censored]. I hate boss fights that don't play fair!

So, I turned the game off, and went off to make some drinking chocolate (Made it from scratch... mmmmmm... delicious!). I'm now fortified and ready to go!

Da da dum!

That buttmunch won't know what hit him!

A chocified Ninjababe is a Ninjababe to be frightened of.

Oh, and it scares me how Lulu (The black mage of the game) doesn't seem to have nipples. Her outfit is so low cut you should be able to see something!.

That, and the fact that she uses animated dolls as weapons.

Freaky, but I like her. She's a bitchin' character.

Here's what I mean:

Not the best picture, but you get the point.

Another picture. And no, that purple thing isn't her bra, it's the wing of her mog doll.

And, the female lead, Yuna, has the prettiest outfit. It's a kimono, but it isn't...

OK... back to prodding buttock.

(Pictures curtesy of Final Fantasy Online)

I'm so cute! [anime big eyes]

I decided to put my hair up into little pigtails today. Combining that with the bangs across my forehead and my glasses, I look like Moaning Myrtle from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

I need to go to a bar and order a single malt [weg].

LotR tidbit

My co-workers keep teasing me about Lord of the Rings. There's a drug called Frova, and they keep trying to call it the 'hobbit drug' or 'Frodo'. [rolls eyes]

Then, when I went to Starbucks. One of the pharmacists requested a 'hobbit sized' coffee.

So, when I brought his coffee back (a small), I replied, "A hobbit sized coffee is the kid's size. I got you a dwarf sized one instead."

Work Rant

Government websites are impossible to search!

Every time I search for something, I can't find the damn thing. I thought the websites would be better. I wouldn't need to pull the massive manuals off the shelf above me. (The smallest manual weighs 5.5 pounds) I have to stand on almost tiptoe to grab these manuals and bring them down to the counter.

ARGH!