Ninjababe's Ramble

Nirvana!

Well, the TV verson...

The Anime Network (Via a small victory)

[starry eyed look]

GIMME!

^_^ <-- Anime happy face

Probably never get it in my area, but a girl hasta dream!

Hah!

One of my "secret" guilty pleasures is General Hospital. Yes, I watch it...

Anyway, currently, there is a female lawyer who was on trial for murder.
She was found innocent by reason of mental defect. Because of this, she
only gets one or two supervised visits to her infant daughter, who lives
with the father, who's a member of a rich family.

Well, she didn't like that. So, to see her daughter more, she disguised
herself as a male, English butler. Yes, we have cross dressing.

It gets better.

Her psychiatrist figures it out. He decides to keep her secret. In
happiness, she throws her arms around him and kisses him soundly. For
about three minutes. Dressed as the male butler.

The psychiatrist's son is wandering by the window as this happens.

The double take of seeing his father making out with another man!

LOL!

Ith and I had to watch that a couple of times. It was very well acted.

And, again with the psychos

Another 'gem' from a patient from last week (see href="http://www.ondragonswing.com/journal/ramble/archives/2003_05.php#001227">here:

Medicare is looking into this because they didn't know that patient's were bleeding to death, left to starve, left to suffocate.

Ah, the joys of my work!

Quiz Time!

Over on Girls! Girls! Girls!, Ith put up a quiz. I answered. I decided to post it here as well...

What three books are "must haves" in your library?

Mine are all series!

Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien
The Deed of Paksenarrion by Elizabeth Moon
The Anita Blake series by Laurell K. Hamilton

What three foods are rare treats?

Venison Jerky
Beans on Toast
Krispy Kreme Donuts

What three movies would you like us all to watch?

Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Clerks
Tank Girl

What three TV shows would you like to have on DVD?

Due South
Forever Knight
Red Dwarf

Three favourite beverages?

Single Malt
Cherry Coke
Cinnamon Spice Mocha

What are three things your friends would say about you?

Weird
Sweet
Way too perverted for my looks [adjusts halo]

What three things should we know about you?

I'm very shy in person until I'm comfortable with you, then... I'm just like I am online (Be afraid)
I'm a fan fiction addict
I love to drive

Three favourite places.

Disneyland
My computer chair
Interstate 80

Three favourite things.

My computer
My mp3 player
Ith's truck

Three things you loath.

Incompetence
Bad coffee
Medication commercials
Cheap booze

Yes, that's 4, but it had to be said.

Just three random things.

One of my life's dreams is being followed by this really buff guy carrying a massive boom box. The song that is played over and over and over again is the Imperial March. I even know the outfit the guy wears (slightly too small tshirt, tight, old jeans, almost worn through in spots). Sometimes, I'm wearing a cape.

I want to go to college as a hobby.

I like a guy who can sprawl nicely.

Today's 'Freaky' Customer

At least once a day, we get a customer in the pharmacy that makes me want to hum 'Super Freak'.

Today's subject came in, and it was obvious she needed psyche medication.

Then, she put her purchases on the counter. Three different types of home pregnancy kits, 3 different types of condoms, a pack of female condoms, ky jelly, panty liners, and douche.

My first thought? She's a prostitute!

(And, damn, am I going to get a lot of goggle searches for this!)

Sweaty!

I love working on the main street in Monterey. The local troops run by about 2-3 times a year. Lots of men (and women) running by, chanting, and giving out American Flags.

I have seven of those flags now. One of which is hanging from the passenger side sun visor.

Anyway....

Lots of sweaty guys running by.

Woof!

Today, they ran by twice.

We didn't know they were running by twice. The second time they ran by, we thought it might be some stragglers. To make sure, one of the pharmacists said that we should look out and see if we reconized any faces. My reply: "I wasn't looking at their faces!"

The whole female population of the store runs out and watches them run by.

Again, I say, woof!

No, say it isn't so!

I've spent the whole evening messing around on blogs... I'm behind on my nightly fan fiction reading.

I'm going into withdrawal!

ACK!

NO!

OK... I'm going to be quiet now while I go see what stories have been updated...

An actual customer today

This is word for word what a customer said today...

I'm looking for an over the counter, non-caffeine based stimulant to keep me awake so I don't have to buy some amphetamines. Because, between you and I, I'm on probation.

Oh, yeah. We get all the winners at my work!

(Hey, everyone go read Girls! Girls! Girls!! Today, we've talked about Lord of the Rings (Especially Pippin) and a very hurtful, painful beauty procedure... Say it with me... Waxing is evil!)

Mmmmm, Spam... Yummy! (Not)

I've been thinking about all the spam I've been getting. And, lately, I've been getting quite a bit. About 20 or more a day. It's my own fault for putting my email address on the web for spider programs to find. [shrug] Oh well. Too late now.

Anyways!

The biggest portion of my spam is, of course, porn. Yay

The second biggest portion is along these lines "Enlarge your penis size!". Oh yeah, I need that.

Then, there's the pharmacutical ones. "Get your prescriptions online!". I've actually looked at one website and compared it to the prices at the pharmacy I work at. We're cheaper, usually by 1/2 or more! But, they get you because you can actually get a 'prescription' over the internet. Talk about border-line legal!

That is pretty much all the spam I get. Well, except for the 10% that is made up of the "legal" requests I get.

Why am I telling every one (all what, 12? of you) who reads my blog this? Because...

I can

(Update: It seems I overestimated my readership. 9 people! [waves a flag])

Pen Bandits

So, I come back from lunch to find my Winnie the Pooh pen missing and a note on my keyboard:

IM holding pooh for Ransom! Muhaha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (pause) MMM M M UA AHA HA (turn over->)

HHHAA ! HAHA

|
|
|
\/

HAH HAH

J/K

Look behind KB

And, of course, I immediately think 'Killer Bunny'. But, there is no killer bunny at work!

And, I think and think and think. Finally, when I gave up and the 'kidnapper' was going to tell me, I figured it out.

Keyboard!

I'm currently plotting my revenge...

Reno...

I just came back from a long weekend trip to Reno (Lost $11 at slots...), and here is the photos!

I love digital cameras!

(I meant here are the photos. Damn my Southern grammar...)

The Psychos Among Us...

These are actual things said by a patient I was on the phone with today. I typed them in as he said them:

My internal organs come out of my right side. If I don't have a pouch on them, I get blood poisoning and die in 3 days.

I know my doctor is part of the local good ol' boys network and I don't want to be part of a form of euthanasia.

What's to stop my doctor from performing doctor-assisted suicide on me? I don't want to die.

I've never been told I'll be thrown of a cliff in 3 days.

I've accepted the fact that we live in a fascist nazi country. That wants to kill all the cripples. I've accepted that.

Well, after that conversation, I don't need my morning cup of coffee... I'm wide awake.

Current Work Quotes

"Didn't you say fill it for the rest of the month?"
"Yeah."
"Isn't today the 12th?"
"It's the 16th."
"What calender was I looking at?!"

"Who are you tying up?"
"Well, if I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise!"

Age is a number. Mine is unlisted. -- Pillow

Instant human: Just add coffee. -- Pillow

That was not something I should eat. Considering my mouth tastes like I
licked the pavement.

She's just a parasite.

What kind of lyrics are those? "And the book of love will open up and let
us in?" What were they on, and why aren't they sharing? ... You know, I
probably shouldn't say things like that in a pharmacy.

"I love ramming the back of a cop car, then when they get out to give me a
ticket, I'd run them over."
"Oh yeah! That's great fun! Even better than carjacking!"

Do you know what I need to do? ...Shoot him in the head. I need to shoot
him in the head. He's a waste of space.

I've got a rancher in my mouth. A *very* jolly rancher.

Paralysis sucks as a punishment. It doesn't hurt.

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yet again, someone at work over used the Lysol in the bathroom. I'm sick and tired of having to cross the pharmacy to grab my inhaler. So, I wrote the following and taped it to the Lysol dispenser:

HEY!!!! YOU!!! READ THE DIRECTIONS!!! THIS SAYS SPRAY 2-3 SECONDS!!! NOT UNTIL YOU CAN SMELL THE DISINFECTANT!!! SOME PEOPLE ARE ALLERGIC TO THIS STUFF!!!! LIKE, THEY CAN'T BREATHE WHEN IT'S OVER USED!!!!

I feel much better now.

Signs of Insanity

Thanks to this (Via Ith), I can make signs. (You'll need photoshop to see the catalog of bits and pieces)

Be afraid.

Be very afraid.

Bah...

I had a rant all ready to go in my head while I was dropping off a roommate at work.

But, because I'm sick at the moment (physically that is. I'm always mentally sick), I couldn't remember it.

So, even though I didn't go to work today, I'll rant about work.

There's a new privacy law in effect, HIPAA. Don't ask me what the acronym means. I have no clue. If you've had any medical services in the last month, you've hit it.

Basically, it means that an individual can sue people in the medical field for using their personal information to marketing. So, if I were to send an unsolicited flyer to all the diabetics my work takes care off, I'd be breaking the law.

And, we have to give out privacy statements to everyone. And, they have to sign that they received one.

Well, the clerks keep forgetting to do it. And, when I call them on it, they think it's not a big deal.

You see, under HIPAA, not only is the pharmacy liable in a suit, but so is the individual. Yes, under this brand spankin'-new law for privacy, individuals can be sued, pay fines, and go to jail.

Joy.

Yah.

I am quivering with joy.

Bah

So, after I finished telling them about it (for the fourth time), the big-boss lady got into it as well.

I got muchos glares from the clerks after that.

Fine. I'm not sharing my giant dark chocolate bar with them.

Hah!

I win!

I'm going to stop rambling now...

Going to a Foreign Country for Dinner

AKA, going to McDonalds...

My order at McDonalds tonight was two #2s with coke, a #2 with sprite and other stuff...

I got two #2s and a #1, even after correcting the drive-thru employee that it wasn't a #1, it was a #2, which he confirmed.

So, I trooped back into the place and tried to exchange the Big Mac for 2 cheeseburgers.

Turns out that the drive-thru employee spoke more English than the manager that tried to help me.

First, he tried to charge me for two more #2s...

Then, he tried to charge me for another #1...

Then, they tried to give me a milkshake and yogurt parfait. I already had those (Now, I kick myself... I could've gotten them for free).

Finally, finally!, they took the big mac and gave me two cheeseburgers.

ARGH!

I'm going to have to learn to speak Spanish just to order fast food without mistakes... [sigh]

Vices

Friday wasn't fun. I (and K) had a tension headache by 10am on Friday.

So, while wandering the pharmacy with the pharmacy supervisor, I was describing how Grand Theft Auto: Vice City was great stress relief. Going around and wacking total strangers over the head with a hammer and mug them.

Just as we were turning the corner towards the front of the pharmacy where the main pharmacy technician terminal was, I was describing how fun it was to carjack ferraris.

There was a customer on the other side of the counter. She spent at least three minutes staring at me with wide eyes. Then, I looked up at her from the computer screen, I gave the patented Ninjababe wide eye look of innocence.

She walked away, obviously shaken and scared.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Raincoats...

On my last trip to Disneyland, I got a very nifty bright yellow rain jacket. It has Tigger on it.

Well, the store manager at work loves Tigger.

On Friday, he came up to my area and said he was leaving and wished me and K a nice weekend.

I turned from my computer and replied, "You t... take me jacket off!"

He was trying to leave with my jacket.

The cheek of the guy!