She has a soap bottle coming out of her crotch.
"I can't make it go any faster!"
"You could if you tried."
"Only with human sacrifice."
"I'm good with that."
"Can you go get me some condoms?"
"What kind?"
"Anything that says prophylactic on it."
I'm not a guy. I know 3 inches in length is not really 12 inches.
Lazyness doesn't start in the ass. It's in a higher area of the body.
"I don't know if I'm saying this right..."
"Shut up?"
"OK, size matters."
"No it doesn't!"
"Size does not matter."
"Sure, you just say that because you're a black man."
Don't you hate it when you accidently close your head in the printer?
I do Medicare billing here at work.
Well, today, I had to bill an erectile vacuum pump.
Yes, those are covered by Medicare...
Anyway, while looking up the proper code to bill with, I came across the
following names for vacuum pumps:
Encore
Erecaid
Impo-Aid
Piston
Rapport
Rejoyn (Which a coworker, who's seen it, says is nothing but a friction sleeve
that looks like a cast.)
Response II
Encore Manuel (Which, we're sure it's a misprint, but caused lots of hilarity.
"Maybe it actually comes with a man named Manuel." "For a *different* type of
vacuum pump!")
I don't really like the pharmacist I worked with this weekend.
Last time I worked a weekend with him, I told the store manager through gritted teeth, "I will strangle you if I end up working with him again!"
This weekend wasn't his fault, someone else did the schedule. But, he's still going to hear about it (And, it'll make it easier to get my time off request approved! [beam]).
The pharmacist is a strange mix of a horndog and Wally from 'Leave it to Beaver'. He's always on the lookout for single women, but he's just so naive about a lot of things! And, he has the whole Wally look going for him as well.
So, we close at 5pm on Sundays. At 4:30, he announces he has a craving for the spicy calamari they make across the street. He invited me to join him. I thought he was going to order it for pick up. I didn't think we had time for that, and besides, I don't like calamari. So, I told him I only like shellfish, and he sweetened the deal by offering to buy my whatever shot of scotch I wanted.
My thoughts, "OH MY GOD! He's trying to pick me up!"
I reiterated that I don't like calamari at all. He weedled. I told him that scotch could be very expensive. He replied, "I can afford $25!"
Then, when I informed him that the local pool hall has $25 scotch, and it was probable that the place across the street had a $40+ shot, he still didn't back down.
So, I kept saying no because I don't like calamari.
Ewwwwww....
As we were leaving, he tried again. I just said, "No, thanks!" and quickly walked out of the store.
I worked this weekend. And, every weekend, we get some doozies...
First, there's the woman who came in for a refill on her insulin.
Well, it turns out that the insulin, which we've been running on her insurance, was actually for her cat!
I took great glee in telling her that no, we couldn't bill her insurance for the insulin, since it wasn't for her, it was for a cat.
A customer came in for a prescription for a birth control device. We told her it would take twenty minutes (our standard time). She kicked up a fuss because she wanted to just give us the prescription and leave with the product. And, since she wasn't from this area, she didn't want to give us her address.
Well, after running her insurance, it turns out that her insurance is the type where the customer pays cash and gets reimbursed from the insurance company directly. If we had given in to the patient, we would've been out $100 and no way to get it back!
And, I got a new ATM card last week and I was able to determine my own PIN. I did one I knew I'd remember.
Then, at work today, I remembered why it was easy to remember. It was my 'secret code' at work! (Which, a good half of the employees know where to work to figure it out). So, today, I changed my 'secret code' to something else that was easy to remember... 1066. [weg]
Today, on the way home from work, I saw 6 Lamborghinis. Yes, that's right. Six.
I even saw one that wasn't the usual colors (White, Black, Yellow, and Red). I saw a Orange one. It was the color of traffic cones. Still, it worked.
I have a new record on how many Lamborghinis I've seen in a weekend.
Hell, I have a new record for in a day!
I've seen a total of 11 Lamborghinis this weekend, and 6 Ferraris.
This weekend is Concourse d'Elegance on the Monterey Peninsula. This is a major classic car and sports car event. It's also the biggest car auction in the world.
Lots and lots of pretty cars.
I love Lamborghinis. [sigh] The lines, the doors, the purr!
Well, I've had a fun week.
Well, no, not really.
Yesterday, we had a compound that takes three medications for inhalation (All three are in liquid form). The home health-care provider wanted the three put into the same vial.
OK, no problem.
[buzz] wrong!
I had to take a dose of all three medications (a total of 5 vials) and pour them into four compounding vials.
I had to do that for 30 doses.
Which is a ten day supply.
That's 120 vials.
It took three hours.
They were charged lots of money because of the time involved.
And, I spilled six doses on me. Damn it.
Of course, I did have some fun. There are two staircases at work, one in the back that is totally inside the building, and one in the front. The one in the front, you have to leave the building and come in the front door of the pharmacy.
On Tuesday, I went down the front staircase and inside the store three times, while going up the back staircase. Really freaked the Japanese tourists out. They couldn't figure out where I was coming from. Bwahahahaha!
And, today, I got to play with Phenol again. This stuff is bad... The warning label we put on the bottle is:
DANGER - POISON - DANGER
HAZARDOUS LIQUID. CAUSES SEVERE BURNS
MAY BE FATAL IF SWALLOWED.
Doctors use it to remove warts.
Well, I got to open the new bottle we got in the mail. This stuff can only come via ground. The cardboard box is wrapped in a ziplock bag which is taped shut. After opening the cardboard box, the next container inside is a sealed cylinder like a paint can. It's sealed with a plastic ring that has to be pried off. After prying the ring off, a screwdriver is used to pry the lid off. Then, the paper insulation inside is taken out and the bottle, which is wrapped in another ziplock bag, can be removed.
Finally, after all of that, I was able to pour the Phenol into little glass bottles for the doctor. This stuff is so toxic that it eats through plastic. I still have a scar on my arm where I got a drop on me the first week I was in compounding.
Today, I also hurt my hand. When making suppositories, you melt the powders and base together on a hotplate, then pour the warm liquid into a mold to cool and congeal. Well, I can't pour well out of a beaker, so I draw the liquid into a syringe (without a needle) and push it into the molds.
However, the liquid is starting to cool.
Which means, every once in a while, the syringe breaks because I'm trying to pull liquid through a solid seal at the bottom of the syringe.
And, the hotplate can't come out far enough so that it's clear of the shelf above. The shelf above has a metal lip down the front.
I now have a raised bruise on the back of my hand because today, I broke a syringe. If this keeps happening, I'm going to end up with a callous there!